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Of all the Hallmark holidays, Valentine's Day is the most brutal for single folks who don't want to be single. Unhappily married or dating folks don't have it much better. We're bombarded with ads for diamonds and chocolates, romantic champagne dinners, hearts and roses. Our battered self-esteem thinks; why don't I have that kind of passion, that kind love? The truth is, the love we seek out there in externals, is actually hiding in plain sight, inside our hearts, but it's often buried under layers of gunk. It hides under self-loathing, with regular lashings from our inner critic, who says we don't deserve love or other self-defeating thoughts. The kindest, most loving thing we can do for Valentine's Day is to peel off the negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves until we get to our core of one love. One love is the divine spark, the original love.  Whether you believe in God or Spirit or something bigger than yourself, that's the place to fill the well of emptiness.

 My guru is Amma AKA "The hugging Saint". This is what she has to say about love.

Instead of "I love you," say "I am love"

"The common expression is 'I love you.' But instead of 'I love you,' it would be better to say, 'I am love — I am the embodiment of pure love.' Remove the I and you, and you will find that there is only love. It is as if love is imprisoned between the I and you. Remove the I and you, for they are unreal; they are self-imposed walls that don't exist. The gulf between I and you is the ego. When the ego is removed the distance disappears and the I and you also disappear. They merge to become one — and that is love. You lend the I and you their reality. Withdraw your support and they will disappear. Then you will realize, not that 'I love you,' but that 'I am that all-embracing love.'"

Loving God, loving your own Self, and loving all beings. The small heart should become bigger and bigger and, eventually, totally expansive. A spark can become a forest fire. So to have only a spark is enough, for the spark is also fire. Keep blowing on it, fanning it. Sooner or later it will burn like a forest fire, sending out long tongues of flame."

Love is beyond Logic

"Love just happens. Nobody thinks about how to love, or when and where to love. Nobody is rational about love. Rational thought hinders love. Love is a sudden rising in the heart. Love is an unavoidable, unobstructable longing for oneness. There is no logic in this. It is beyond logic. So do not try to be rational about love. It is like trying to give reasons for the river to flow, for the breeze to be cool and gentle, for the moon to glow, for the sky to be expansive, for the ocean to be vast and deep, or for the flower to be fragrant and beautiful. Rationalization kills the beauty and charm of these things. They are to be enjoyed, experienced, loved and felt. If you rationalize about them, you will miss the beauty and charm and the feelings they evoke. Sit by the seashore. Look at it. Feel its vastness. Feel the rising up and down of the waves. Feel and be amazed at the creation and the creator of such magnificence. What good will it do you to rationalize about the ocean?"

I'm not catholic, but I feel a comfort looking at this sculpture of the Madonna and child at the labyrinth I walk regularly. Love, sometimes is found at the least likely places.