Cat Saturday -- Kitty Heaven Can Wait
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Domino basking in the late afternoon light reminded me of the transitional nature of life. He looks somber and wise like some philosopher king. Cats know things we sometimes don't want to know. They embrace life in all the seasons, but who wants to face death? We deny and shirk away from the subject, uncomfortable. Kitty heaven can wait. Death has sniffed around our door this week and I'm not ready to face it.
Coco, my sweet almost sixteen year-old Siamese took a turn for the worse. Kidney disease creeps up gradually with symptoms of increased thirst, vomiting and then weight loss, loss of appetite and lethargy. Nothing alarmed me until she peed in bed two days ago and wobbled as she walked. Our wonderful mobile vet Dr. Goldstein arrived today to administer subcutaneous fluids and an anti-nausea shot. Cats are very clever hiding symptoms, which is all the more reason for elderly cats to have more frequent checkups. We will hydrate her and give anti-nausea meds for the next three days and then reassess. If she doesn't begin eating, the prognosis isn't good.
Coco after her treatment on Friday. She has lost three pounds. That's a massive amount for a small cat. She peed the bed again last night and is unresponsive. It's as if she's test driving the other world by going drifting in and out consciousness. I'm doing Reiki on her, praying and calling on my angels and animals totems for comfort during her transitional time. I am trying to stay present and enjoy our last days together.
Coco has always been less sociable than Merlin so we didn't think it unusual for her to want to spend time more time alone on her favorite loveseat in my dressing room. Alarm bells went off when Coco has grew more remote from her cuddle buddy and bro Merlin, but this week he stepped up to the plate and slept with her. He knows what’s up. Merlin ironically has never felt or looked better. This summer was his second kittenhood and he enjoyed it immensely. It’s amazing how litter mates can have such divergent destinies, but then again, look at our own human siblings. The question is: what will happen after Coco leaves. Will Domino come inside? We made a little more progress this week. Adoption is not on the agenda but maybe fostering.
Our vet, Rich Goldstein at Mobile Vet Squad had to euthanise his beloved cat two weeks ago after a long battle with cancer. I asked him how he knew when was the right time. He said, “You just know. I chatted with some friends about the same thing and everyone said, “You just know.” I’m going trust that when the time comes, I will just know.
My intuitive communication with Coco revealed that she’s ready to go to the rainbow bridge soon. Something I haven’t seen discussed much is the role of spouses or significant others and sick pets. I feel adamant about monitoring the quality of a pet’s life and not prolonging it needlessly. Nothing drives me crazier that seeing a loved one suffering. But what happens when one spouse wants euthanasia and other doesn’t?
A very ill or dying pet can drive a wedge between couples and I’d suggest talking about a contingency plan, long before the stress of a real illness. I’d also suggest pre-planning what to do about euthanasia and post dying details. Burial or cremation? Any ritual or funeral? The time to figure out if Fluffy will fit inside a shoebox is best planned well in advance. Ditto where in the garden to bury them and whether your shovel can dig through frozen ground. My way of making peace with death is to plan and prepare, but everyone faces illness and the possibility of death differently. I was ready to send Coco to the rainbow bridge today, but I changed my mind. Who wants to play God and put down their pet on 9/11? Not me. My husband was so triggered by Coco’s rapid decline he’ll do anything to keep her around. With the vet’s advice we’ve reached a comfortable compromise. Meanwhile the grieving process has begun in earnest and I'm grateful for the long reprieve from major grieving. The last time was fifteen years ago when my dad died. The walking in underwater heaviness feels the same. I'd forgotten how utterly exhausting grieving is. It seeps into the waterlogged bones. Stay tuned…Your prayers are welcome.
What we'll be doing this weekend.
Categories: Cats, Photography, Spirituality
Tags: kitty heaven can wait Cat Saturday heaven preparing for the rainbow bridge preparing-cats-euthansia-funeral
Oh Layla, we are so very sorry that Coco has taken such a bad turn. It is so hard when they get older. And the vet is right about, you will know when it is time for her to go to the bridge. I am so glad you decided not to do it on 9/11. But something in their eyes tells you that they are just tired and are ready to leave. Just spend some great time with her for now and she might bounce back after the fluids. We certainly send many many purrs and prayers for all of you and some woofies and some hee haws and a Baa. We will be thinking about you, that is for sure. A big hug for Coco too. Hugs to Mom and Dad.
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I will pray for Coco and I will pray for you. Never a happy time when this time comes crawling. Our Emma lasted 20 years but we were in deep grief for weeks. I lost 10 pounds I did not need to lose.
Your heart and hope is cradled within mine
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Layla,
Marg said it better than I could, particularly about the pet looking at you and you can tell by their eyes. Then, from the owner's point of view, you will have a sense of peace that you are doing the right thing. Of course, you will mourn, you can't help it, but you'll know you did the right thing to let them go and not have them suffer anymore. Peace to you, luv!
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Yes, cats hide symptoms well. Purrs for you, Coco, your mom and dad.
When I was squatting at my mother's house, I buried all the pets at the corner of the playground next to the house. Now that I moved out, I cremated my cat and kept the ashes in an urn on the cat shelf. I have yet to blog about it. Perhaps soon. Hugs!
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My blessings and prayers for Coco and your family. Losing a loved one is hard. I am glad you are spending this time with Coco. When it is time you will know and be able to say "Goodbye" with a clear conscience and wonderful memories.
Thank you for sharing your love and your trauma with us.
Blessings.
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I like your idea about post-dying details, burial or cremation? I think it's nice to spell out your wishes to our children before I die.
If Coco can talk then both of you need not argue about the details. I would suggest burial, of course the choice is yours.
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Layla, so sorry to hear of Coco's decline. The last days are the hardest. Wishing you all the best in this sad hour.
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So sorry to hear about this situation. Will be praying for all involved. It is so hard to say goodbye.
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You WILL know when it is time. Having been in that position for both pets as well as beloved humans, I can attest that you will know.
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