Be Happier: Remove Two Words.
I'm probably one of the few people who loves stoplights. It gives me a chance to get enjoy the view. In this case, the faint crescent moon, fall foliage and road provided today's insight. The "only" marked on the pavement was clear enough but I immediately thought of "if only" and the baggage that comes with that phrase.
When we say if only...we aren't satisfied where we are. It becomes a bartering tool for future happiness. If only we had more money, we'd be happier. If only I had a boyfriend, a baby, a new car, a new job, my dream house, skinnier thighs... There's no end to external wishes. Being unsatisfied makes us unhappy. Acceptance creates the space for joy. Catch yourself the next time you say: if only... and replace with: I choose to be... happy or okay with what is, now. The now is always changing. The opportunity to choose differently happens in the now.
When we say if only...we aren't satisfied where we are. It becomes a bartering tool for future happiness. If only we had more money, we'd be happier. If only I had a boyfriend, a baby, a new car, a new job, my dream house, skinnier thighs... There's no end to external wishes. Being unsatisfied makes us unhappy. Acceptance creates the space for joy. Catch yourself the next time you say: if only... and replace with: I choose to be... happy or okay with what is, now. The now is always changing. The opportunity to choose differently happens in the now.
Posted by Layla Morgan Wilde at 11/3/2011 12:00 AM 
Categories: Nature, Baby Boomers, New York, Westchester County, Photography, Spirituality
Tags: be happier remove two words happiness-secrets what if-quote highway 9-irvington ny
Categories: Nature, Baby Boomers, New York, Westchester County, Photography, Spirituality
Tags: be happier remove two words happiness-secrets what if-quote highway 9-irvington ny
Yes, terrific idea!!!! I agree wholeheartedly!
I love stoplights, too - but so I can just breathe deeply and not concentrate. About the same reason as you, actually...
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Kathryn, good to know I'm not the only one! Drivers in New York are so impatient.
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Yes, Truly. Much worse than Boston in that respect. Boston drivers cut in front and don't signal, but when I am new NYC, I do find the level of driver aggression increases.
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Wonderful post Layla!! We all have regrets, BUT often forget that every decision we ever made brought us to the place we are now and if you like where you are now.....then you must let go of the regrets. A person can spend an entire lifetime wallowing in the 'what ifs' and regrets. I look forward to your posts, everyday. thank you.
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Terri, thanks for noting the connection between the "if only" and "what ifs" of the future and the regrets of the past. Have a great day!
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Nice photo! And thanks for sharing the wisdom that came with it! I must admit that sometimes I am a person who says a lot of "if only"s. True enough that when we say that, we invite a lot of unhappiness, but I always try to overcome it by doing something to achieve what I wanted to achieve, so that later I don't have to say "if only". Thanks for this thought-provoking post
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Layla, I love stoplights, too. They're an oasis in a desert of hurry. They teach me patience.
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Why am I not surprised? We should start a group: Stoplight Lovers United.
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